A stonecutter may strike a rock ninety nine times with no apparent effect, not even a crack on the surface. Yet with the hundreth blow, the rock splits in two. It was not the final blow that did the trick, but all that had gone before.
When we work on ourselves to change who we are, we sometimes get discouraged because we can’t see anything happening, everything still looks the same as yesterday. We have to remember that recovery is a process not an event and every time we do the next right thing we are affecting change inside ourselves even when it still looks the same on the outside.
Then all of a sudden at one moment we will be able to look back and say wow “this is a different rock” there was change here, but its not that final blow that did it, its the constant perseverance in recovery despite our falls and slips that does it.
My sponsor instructed me this morning to stop doing stepwork for the next 30 days and instead focus on Step Zero.
What?
What is Step Zero?
Step Zero is participating in the fellowship, calling people talking to people before and after meetings, going out with people one on one. It’s building up the network in order to be able to stay sober and get out of isolation which is driving us back to the addiction.
We cannot stay sober alone, and we cannot progress in our recoveries by ourselves and that’s why we need other people.
One of the slogans in 12 step fellowships is HALT!
HALT stands for don’t get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. At first thought one might question what’s the connection between any of those and acting out?
However, as we stay sober and become more aware of our feelings, we realize the wisdom behind these slogans. All four of these states put us in an altered state of mind, and our rational brain stops working, instead we start thinking of our old behaviors, and they look “glorified” and as a possible solution to whatever our problem might be.
When we stay in our spiritual balance and in fit “spiritual condition” we make sure to take care of ourselves, to eat right, sleep right, keep our emotions in check and not get angry and resentful (resentment is the number one killer of addicts), loneliness is another killer as addiction is a disease of loneliness and isolation, and of course last but not least tiredness, when we are tired our brains don’t function properly and we can’t make rational choices.
So the next time you start thinking crazy, think HALT! And ask yourself am I in any states of HALT?
When a person is sick physically they usually go see a doctor, who takes blood work to find out what their problems are. If the person has a deficiency in certain nutrients the doctor then prescribes those nutrients that the body is lacking. If Iron is too low, they will prescribe Iron to counter the deficiency, if Vitamin A is low, they will prescribe that.
Addiction is a disease of Spiritual Deficiency our spirituality is deficiant and lacking and we feel sick, of course we have all tried to fill it up with the wrong things to fill that deficiency, some of us have tried alcohol, sex, drugs, food, gambling, internet gaming. It doesn’t really matter what we tried, whatever we tried we were looking to fill up that “void”, and nothing can fill that up until we fill it with the nutrients that were missing.
What we are really looking for is that spirituality, that can make us feel so much better than whatever else we tried, and that really works because just as in a physical illness the solution is always to give the body the nutrient that is lacking, the same is true for our soul sickness we need to feed it the nutrients it’s missing and that is Spirituality.
A Lobster is a soft creature under a hard shell, how does the lobster grow under its shell, the shell doesn’t grow along with it. When the lobster starts growing enough and its uncomfortable in its current shell, it goes under a formation of rocks in the water, sheds its shell, and starts growing a new bigger shell, this process is repeated several times in a lobsters life.
The discomfort it feels in its own shell which has become to small for it, drives it to growth and to start growing a new bigger more comfortable shell.
The same is true with us humans, when we feel discomfort in our situations, we need to use it as a driving force to grow and build a new “shell” a better life for ourselves.
So today when we feel those uncomfortable feelings we should be grateful for the opportunity to grow from it, instead of shoving those feelings down with acting out because “I’m uncomfortable”. Instead I will look at the stuff that is making me feel uncomfortable and inventory myself and grow from it.
What “One Day at a Time” means to me.
One day at a time is like me going up to the edge of the Grand Canyon and throwing in a pebble, which, practically speaking, means I do the recovery work for that day (calls to others, meetings, prayer, working with sponsees, helping others, readings, singing spiritual songs, writing, etc). The next day, I throw in another pebble; and the next day, another pebble.
Eventually, the Grand Canyon will be filled with my pebbles, but that will take a lifetime. There are some days that I want recovery and I want it now, meaning I want to be fully recovered, fully spiritual, but God is the one who gives me the pebble. He doesn’t give me a boulder because he knows I can’t lift it. He gives me a pebble, and that is all I need to live one day at a time.
Welcome to Spiritual Condition. The purpose of this blog is to share our experience strength and hope in maintaining our daily reprieve based on our “Spiritual Condition”, we hope you too will find the freedom and serenity by following the spiritual principles of the program.
